I was just thinking about what to say to people who are grieving, how do you console someone? I posted earlier I didn’t know quiet yet what to say to people, how not to play it down. One of the ways is to not make excuses for the situation at hand. No “well, this was caused by this” or “well at least this didn’t happen like this”, no excuses for the situation. It is what it is and I think those who are grieving are much better off accepting the situation at hand than trying to be deluded into a false reality, no matter how “real” it may seem to the person trying to offer consolation. 

I think the best thing to say to people, at least for me, is to simply say you’re sorry and ask how you can help or just offer them company or love. Sometimes they won’t know how you can help, the only thing I knew I needed was a clean home and dinner every night. I also didn’t want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to be with James and watch tv and spend time in the garden. I also didn’t want sorries from people I wasn’t close to or knew. Those who I knew, though, better say they’re sorry and they love me. At least those who I am close to. So there’s some things I can remember and do. A lot of times, simple words, a hug, and sitting next to the person will do wonders as they work through emotional and mental anguish. After all, in the end it’s them who has to work through it on their own terms and your love and support will help them work through it with greater strength. 


I wanted to document the vine borer in all its annoying existence but for now here’s a good post for taking care of them and maybe even preventing them.


You will now find me here: a life crocheted

made by me, designed by sylver designs. these things are not simple.

for sue from kaneischa made by bonny

it looks really brown. its really a brick color. verrrrry pretty!